Friday, December 2, 2011

A month and counting

Yes, I love my husband more each day.

I see my daughter sad!

Yes, I run into his arms each night.

I see my daughter MAD!!

Yes, why didn't I know you before>?

MY DAUGHTER is angry with ME!

OH, how my soul rejoices in love

MY DAUGHTER SAYS WHAT ABOUT ME!!!
I was here before he came along, I sat and held you when crying was all you did, I watched over, I made sure the ogre didn't bite you, I helped you stay sane, I hoped and prayed and asked God for all that you needed. Where am I in your plans, now that you have a husband, and you change(d), yes you changed yiour name no matter what, where am I - I was a part of you, I came out of you I am part of the past that you want to forget.
I ask you do you love me, why do you hate you
I ask you what do you do to remember me
I need you.
Can't you stay my mommy (not his wife), because I am you daughter. that other part of you...

Monday, November 7, 2011

quincenal - 15 days +1

Wow,
full circle.
The visions, the thoughts, the memories.
The invitations to his home - while his mother was still alive.
So much had to pass before I co uld see God's hand!
Why, why do I wait so long.
I believe that God wants me to be
But I always fear the location.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It rains a little

The small things get so big when you have plenty of time to think.
I sit and worry about how everything goes when he has a laundry list of chores he wants to complete before our big day.

Balancing the joy of expectation with the worry of the unknown makes me want to lose my mind. I thank God for blogging. Print it, type it, see it, face it and then let it go.

It was pouring in the Bronx when I spoke with him before lunch.
It is now a thunderstorm in my mind
However, the office I am sitting in is just humid.

Deep breathing is supposed to soothe the mind, I just think of getting back for the worry he caused,w hen in reality I cause the worry because it is the manner in which I choose to handle the situation. So, if I get out of my head and really, truly focus on all the work, I will probably be a lot better ...
la de da